The other night, watching the British election party leaders' debate, I found myself warming to Jeremy Corbyn. Jeremy Corbyn! I thought Are you mad? You see, I'm not a natural Corbyn supporter -- I'm not even a Labour Party supporter. But it's been that kind of election, where after an hour or so of the usual tired slogans you find yourself warming to a man who turns up on television with a pot of home-made jam and says if he becomes Prime Minister he'll use his downtime to tend to his … [Read more...]
This is London Calling: Keep the Lights on in Europe
June 22, 2016 by Leave a Comment
In 1914, on the eve of the First World War, the British foreign secretary Sir Edward Grey looked out of his window at the street lamps being lit, and said "The lamps are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them lit again in our lifetime". Now, on the eve of the Brexit referendum, I fear the lights may be about to start going out again in Europe -- and this time the first place to fall dark will be Britain. The European Union was built on a dream. Not a dream of common markets or … [Read more...]
Who Killed Jo Cox?
June 18, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Who killed Jo Cox? Not Nigel Farage. Though he showed us the broken and helpless and told us to fear them. They fled crucifixion and poison gas and he told us to hate them. "If voting doesn't work, violence is next," he said. But that's just Nigel, that's his way. Did you see him on the Thames? You've got to put Britain first, you see. Not David Cameron. Though he told us a "swarm" was coming across the sea to take advantage of us. David Cameron is an honourable man. he was just trying … [Read more...]
Dear Suzanne Moore, Here’s One Rule For Managing Your Arse: Stop Talking Out Of It
August 8, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Oh boy. For anyone who doesn't know the background, and finds that title a little brusque, let me fill you in. Suzanne Moore is a well-known feminist columnist. She wrote an article in The Guardian today entitled '10 Rules For Managing Your Penis". "Recent news stories involving sexting, wine, toasters, politicians and penises indicate some men need a refresher course," Ms Moore chirped, "so here are my 10 rules for keeping your penis out of trouble". Ho ho ho. Cue the outrage. Misandry, … [Read more...]
A Modest Proposal; or why Britain’s Next King should be a Watermelon
July 22, 2013 by 1 Comment
Today seems an opportune moment to resuscitate a vital movement for the future not only of Britain, but I would submit, that of the entire world. I should like to make a humble submission: that when Queen Elizabeth II eventually passes on, we should replace her with a watermelon. No one can deny that Elizabeth has made a generally excellent job of being Queen, but I can’t help feeling that the peculiar requirements of the role could be equally well fulfilled by a watermelon. Yes, yes, … [Read more...]
Apocalypse UK: Warmwave of Death
July 17, 2013 by 2 Comments
There are times in life when you feel you must have been born in the wrong place. It's happening to me this week in London. All around me people are shaking their heads and sighing, declaring that it's "sweltering", "baking", "too hot to breathe", that they are "dying from the heat", that they can't sleep at night. The government has issued a Level Three Heatwave Alert. MPs are calling for people to be given time off work because of the devastating heat. And the temperature? A mild and pleasant … [Read more...]
